


Withdrawal

by mckvch (RaiseYourVoice)



Series: Tumblr prompts [48]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Bane Chronicles - Sarah Rees Brennan & Cassandra Clare & Maureen Johnson, The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Canon Compliant, Drug Withdrawal, Fix-It of Sorts, Gen, Implied/Referenced Drug Addiction, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-25
Updated: 2017-09-25
Packaged: 2019-01-05 10:06:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12187923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RaiseYourVoice/pseuds/mckvch
Summary: “Rapha?”A whole different kind of pain shivered through Raphael’s body at the sound of this nickname. Under different circumstances, he would have told Simon to never call him that again, that he had lost his right to use such an intimate way of addressing him, but the clan leader had absolutely no energy to form the words.“Magnus told me what happened.”





	Withdrawal

**Author's Note:**

> _The show is really focusing on Izzy's recovery after the yin fen... but Raphael was affected too. Can you please write a story about Raphael’s recovery? (Can include Saphael if you'd like)_

Raphael curled up underneath the blanket on his large four poster bed, trying to grab onto at least one coherent thought but it was absolutely impossible to find one in his fogged up mind. The withdrawal that made his body weak and seemed to drive his thoughts to insanity wasn’t an unfamiliar feeling but he had sworn to himself to never revisit this state.

But here he was, a curled up mess hiding away in his room because he couldn’t face any of his clan members. He was supposed to be their leader, to show strength, but he had failed miserably and couldn’t even tell  _ why _ . 

Raphael hated the Nephilim and Isabelle had attacked his clan, killed some and hurt others. He had absolutely no logical explanation for why he had ended up giving in to biting her. The memory alone had his body trembling even more with the unwanted need for angel blood but simultaneously he felt like throwing up in disgust because this wasn’t him. He didn’t want to be anywhere near this woman ever again!

He gasped at the wave of pain the withdrawal send through his weakened body and he didn’t hear the first knock at the door but the second one rang through the room loud and clear, almost a little bit forceful.

“Go away!” Raphael didn’t recognise his own voice, it was so empty and raspy.

Whoever was outside the door completely ignored his order—or what was supposed to be one but lacked any force—and the door creaked open, closing a second later followed by soft footfalls closing in on the bed.

“Rapha?”

A whole different kind of pain shivered through Raphael’s body at the sound of this nickname. Under different circumstances, he would have told Simon to never call him that again, that he had lost his right to use such an intimate way of addressing him, but the clan leader had absolutely no energy to form the words.

“Magnus told me what happened.”

_ Of course he did _ , Raphael thought bitterly and a twisted sounding kind of laugh left his throat. He was so damn tired of everything—of the withdrawal, the guilt of having ended up addicted again, the feeling of being some kind of second or third choice for the damn fledgeling…

“How are you feeling?”

Raphael scoffed, not even deeming this idiotic question with the thought of an answer.

“Okay, that was a stupid question. Is there anything I can do to help?”

_ Why would you want to help me? You hate me. _ Raphael didn’t like not having control over his thoughts, having the bitterness take over because he was unable to push it to the back of his mind as he usually did.

“Did you feed properly?”

It was pretty ironic that Simon was the one asking this question when Raphael had been the one to always pester the fledgeling about this. This time the clan leader forced himself to answer, though, even if it was just by shaking his head a little.

“You need to feed. You need the strength,” Simon said softly and only the sound of his voice stopped Raphael from snapping at him.

The clan leader felt the mattress dip next to his knees that were almost pulled up against his chest and then a tentative hand came to rest on his upper arm, on top of the blanket. It was an unexpectedly soothing gesture and Raphael caught himself leaning into the touch instead of shrugging it off like he should have.

“Come on, Rapha, sit up. I brought some blood for you,” the fledgeling prompted—cooed, almost—and gently rubbed his fingertips against Raphael’s upper arm. The clan leader didn’t feel like he was able to move much, let alone sit up, but he didn’t struggle against it when Simon took over and tugged him into a sitting position against the head of the bed.

Raphael glared at the younger vampire, though he doubted there was any heat behind it whatsoever, and Simon merely smiled at him with a worried frown before offering him a mug with warm blood and holding it up against the leader’s chapped lips.

Raphael hated being this weak in front of anyone and he wondered why Simon had bothered coming here, why he decided to patiently take care of the clan leader when all he had done so far was defy everything Raphael had said or done. But he didn’t have the energy to question the other’s motifs and, to be quite honest, he wanted to pretend for a little while that the fledgeling did all of this because he truly cared, not because he needed Raphael to help with yet another mess he caused.


End file.
